Oh, dummy. Stupid fucking dummy.

So, on the other blog — it’s submission based — and I got a submission from a woman. It turned out to be a really funny blog post. Yadda yadda — this is incidental.

So, I emailed this girl this morning to tell her that her submission is going to run. We exchanged a few “omg, yes, that is so funny!” emails and then she mentioned that we have a mutual friend — Ginger.

Well, I’m just… I mean, maybe I’m a retard. I don’t know. When people ask, “Do you know that guy?” I’m honest to a fault, it seems.

So, I said, “Yea, Ginger. We met earlier this summer were friends for a bit and had a brief fling. I haven’t seen him in months.”

Oh yea. That’s right! Guess who this girl is?

GINGER’S FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.

Right. I’m like… FUCK. Seriously?

So apparently, they’ve been dating for like a year or something… He went with her to meet her parents in June and came home and started fucking me. Classy.

Of course, I didn’t know anything about this at the time. What Ginger and I had was a real classic friends–>friends with benefits situation. It wasn’t planned. There’s wasn’t like this palpable sexual heat that was building up or anything. It was just like, “Hey. Do you wanna do it?” And I was like, “Uhh, sure. Whatever.” And it turned out to be pretty great sex.

Anyway…

I felt super bad… Both for this girl but also a little for Ginger because I sort of threw him under the bus without thinking about it. Then I got to thinking about it and I was really fucking mad at him. He KNEW he had a girlfriend… He KNEW. And he didn’t tell me.

I was more than forthright about telling him about the Hot Single Dad and The Drill Sergeant and how I was dating and fucking them, too.

So, long story short, the girl asks me for details. At this point, I’m not going to LIE about it, right? So I just tell her. We had a brief five or six week fling but it wasn’t anything special. I told her that we probably had sex a handful of times but (because I would want to know this information if I were in her shoes) we always used protection.

She thanked me for confirming her suspicions. She was very mature and polite about it. And I was just like fucking Gilly from SNL…

….Sorry…

Fuck. That fucking ginger joker! I can’t believe he pulled this stunt.

So THEN, Ginger calls me tonight, after his girl had called him and told him that she wanted her stuff back and didn’t want to see him anymore. He’s PISSED at me. Says something about how, if I didn’t give specifics, he could still have deniability.

….! RIGHT! So I was like, “No, I was pretty specific with her.”

“Fuck, why!? God, dammit, shit. Now I guess I HAVE to deal with this. I suppose I can just tell her the truth.”

Then he starts bitching me out about how uncool he thinks it is that I knew he liked this girl and that I just gave up that information and I was like — hold the god damn phone, asshole. I didn’t know. As far as I knew, Ginger hadn’t gone on any dates since BEFORE we started hanging out as friends and he had expressed specifically to me how he wasn’t that into them. And also — fuck you! Jesus.

So, I was just kind of like, “Sorry holmes. This was pretty skeezy of you.”

And he sort of chuckles and is like, “Yea.. Dammit.”

Motherfucker.

I actually wanted to try to be his friend again because I missed his company but, yet again, I am disappointed to find out (and surprised! Really, you’d think at this point, it wouldn’t surprise me) that a “bad boy” is actually… you know… BAD.

Fucking jackass. I was so mad.

And that poor girl. I hope she kicks his ass to the curb for real. I mean, really… He’s unemployed, short, kind of heavy, balding, GINGER and he wears kilts every.god.damn.day.

“Oh yea… But it’s because I’m a spokesman…” Nehhhh. Shut up. Stupid.

I hate that he made me a part of that shit. UGH.

But whatever. Live and learn. I did learn a lot from dating Ginger.

Let’s make a list! I love lists:

• I learned how to make a Reuben
• I learned a bit about Belgian beers
• I mastered F.E. (sorry guys, it’s true!)
• I learned how to just be friends with a guy (at first anyway. I mean, the sex fucked that up, but I had it for a while)
• I learned how even the really nice bad boys are really still not all that good
• I learned that just because guys do nice things for you doesn’t mean they care
• I learned how important it is for me to date a liberal

So yea… Not a total wash.

In other news: No roommate yet. I’m still hopeful, even though rent was due today. Child support didn’t come today — it will probably show up at my job tomorrow in the mail, on my day off… And I’ll have to drive allllllllllll the way up there because I am hard up for cash and the dog doesn’t have any food. God damn dogs.

I’ve got a nickname for the guy that is coming to visit me. Dr Dude. Mmm yes. Thanks to Cincy for that one. He’s coming on Friday. He’s been so swamped with school this week and then with Thanksgiving last week, we just haven’t talked much this week. I feel a bit bad because I know, while it’s not entirely my fault, I think that spending three and four hours on the phone with me nearly every night for two weeks was probably not a part of his study schedule. Woops. I sent him a really impatient, tantrumy text this week that said, “I am feeling impatient and spoiled by all our conversations two weeks ago. I want you here. I want your undivided attention. I realize how bratty I am being, but I needed to say it. I can’t wait to tangle my fingers in your fingers and smell your neck and feel your breath. Friday, COME.” And his reply? “Thank you for your super sweet message.” He said some other stuff, too… He just, in general has this really wonderful cadence to the things he says… And he says sweet things. It’s really lovely to listen to.

Ha. Match made in heaven right? I’m all “God, I’m being a brat.” And he’s like, “Aww, lookit. She’s so sweet!” Hehe. Crazy.

I am really excited about him coming here. I’m still nervous, of course. I worry that he’ll get here and be like, “Ew. You are way cuter when I read what you write online.” Or something equally tragic. I just can’t wait until he’s here. It’ll be a nice respite from all the stress and chaos and blurry mess of life that I’ve been living lately.

Jilly moved out today. The house seems huge already… And quiet. Not yet clean, but we’ll get there. I have to find a roommate. And soon.

Now, in closing, here’s this girl I found online tonight and it just makes me so happy to listen to her. Like, so happy. This big bubbly, effervescent giggly thing bursts from my eyes as tears. I haven’t had an emotional response to music like this in quite some time.

Like seriously… I kind of want to be her.

If you love me … and you have yet to buy me a Christmas present, buy me both Danielle Ate the Sandwich CDs.

God. It makes me so happy.

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