In Love

You might be wondering where I’ve been for the last two weeks… Truth is, I’ve been swamped at work… There’s been free time, but I’ve spent every free moment as of late with Colin. Tonight, I’m at his house, still high on Christmas fumes and he’s cooking for me. This is the first time he’s cooked for me — what a treat.

Tonight, we’re having a pork loin with a rub that he made with thyme, garlic, brown sugar, oregano and basil. We’re also having Swiss Chard, sauteed with garlic and shallots… And some basmati rice. He rubbed the meat all down and then smooshed it into a pan and seared it and now, with all the fond (I’m guessing french for schmutz) left over in the pan, he’s going to finish the pork loin with a pan sauce of marsala, whole grain mustard, and butter. (He’s dictating this to me so I can make sure I say it right. What I want to say is, “He’s doing some such shit in the kitchen and it smells realll good.)

We’re drinking beer that I gifted to him for Christmas (though the boy child claimed it while we were wrapping gifts) and listening to his “cooking mix” on iTunes.

It snowed here last night. Well really, all day. It’s still snowy outside and the weather says it’s supposed to snow again tonight when it dips down in the teens! Where the fuck are we? This is Georgia for cryin’ out loud… But it’s cozy and his house is warm and soft and glowy and full of me and him and bluh!

I bought him these repurposed hanging lamps on Etsy for Christmas and I wasn’t really sure if he’d like them when I bought them, but the more and more I thought about it, I realized it was the perfect gift. He loves them and is considering rearranging his entire kitchen to make the perfect place for them to hang. You know those really pretty Ball canning jars that are blue? These are really big ones, with lamp hardware installed into the lids and repurposed lamp cords from old lamps. They’re really pretty… I’m so glad he likes them.

We also both bought each other moleskins. Seriously… He and I are so much alike, it’s bizarre.

A little while back, I mentioned on facebook that I wanted to go see Alvin Ailey in February. Clever boy that he is, the tickets are for the February 11th show at The Fox which is Valentine’s Day weekend. “I knocked out two holidays in on gift!” Heh.

I met his parents yesterday, too. They are so much like my parents, it was so cozy. His mom even bought me a gift! So sweet. We would have stayed for dinner, but the aforementioned snow really threw a wrench into those plans. It was really great though. Got to meet his brother and sister in law as well. It is a little bizarre how similar our families are — his brother reminded me so much of my brother in law.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy, guys. Really, I’m not sure I even really understood what happy was until now. Here’s a man that understands me… Adores me… And if I could try to measure the amount that he cares about me, the only appropriate measuring tool would be how much I care about him. It’s perfect. He’s perfect for me.

This weekend is the first weekend that we’ve been able to do regular-couple things… We watched movies on the couch and took a nap and went grocery shopping… He cleaned up the kitchen and I did the dishes and the music was pumping in from the living room and it just felt like… home. Really, like home.

I’ve always said, of all the places I’ve lived in my adult life, nothing ever felt like home. I’ve never painted an apartment, barely even hung things up on the walls. Anywhere I’ve been has seemed to temporary, floating from home to home and city to city like a gypsy. But, really… for the first time ever, I feel like I’ve found my home in him. He’s so incredible… Like sleeper-style, too… He just seems like this reserved, kind of quiet, polite and kind man, but the layers… He makes me feel like a treasure.

I’m lucky. It’s funny, he and I talk about how we don’t believe in luck… How we really believe that everything happens when it’s supposed to, but this? I can’t find another word to describe it. It’s just luck. We found each other at just the right time in our lives and we fit together beautifully… I know it’s early and, logically, I know it’s foolish to say these things, but I cannot wait to see what happens next… In one breath, I’m thinking about how I want to savor every second right now, scribble furiously in my journal and document every flashing detail so that time slows down and I can hold each precious second in my cupped hands. And in the next breath, I’m anxious to fast forward to what our lives will be like in five years, ten years, twenty…

I’m in love. It’s the greatest high I’ve ever experienced in my life, man.

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