Aggressively Happy

I think that my generation was probably one of the first ones to benefit from the compact disc. When I was eleven or twelve years old, my sister and I shared a bedroom still… And she was in lurrrve with this boy and their song was “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. I recall laying in bed in the dark, giggling while I asked her questions about boys and dating and all of that and then, when we were finally ready to go to sleep, she’d press play on her previously-queued up cassette tape and we’d listen to Heaven before bed.

Moments like that really make me appreciate my family and my childhood. I don’t have any awful memories of childhood, really… Save a few incidents with shit-smear mean kids or dumb broads along the way… Any time I hear that song though, I am instantly transported back into that upstairs long, narrow bedroom and I’m in the day bed and Julie is on the trundle. We are only four years apart, but growing up, it felt like such a larger space in time… I think I always felt like I was right on the edge of where she was… Always trying to scramble to stay in her shadow. I have looked and looked and looked, trying to find a copy of that cassette tape to give to her for no other reason than to hear her laugh.

Music is a powerful thing. There are songs that remind me of my first concert, of my second concert, and of my third — all great memories. When I hear the songs that remind me of my exhusband, or my exboyfriend … the feeling is decidedly different. I remember my senior year of high school, my freshman year of college, my experimental years, the early hip hop chapter…

I was thinking about asking my friends that live far away to all make a mixed CD of local music… Then, we could all like… swap. Or better yet, we could make one copy for each of us and we could all get this awesome new collection of incredible music that we might have never acquired otherwise. Brilliant right?

Today, I thought of this song and aside from it being one of Bjork’s strangest videos (seriously, that’s the only reason this one is getting the embed treatment versus just the link), it’s actually really sweet.

 

“Since I met you this small town hasn’t got room for my big feelings.”

Everybody say it with me, “Awww!” Crazy little Icelandic psychopath is so sweet, right? I love Bjork. That album was one of the first I ever owned. In fact, here’s a little run-down of the first CDs I ever owned: The Bodyguard Soundtrack, Mariah Carey’s Music Box, Weezer (the blue one), Jewel’s Pieces of You, Green Day’s Dookie, Bjork’s debut, Stone Temple Pilot’s Purple. Quite a mixture.

I have let my love for music get lazy. My auditory muscles have atrophied because I’m lazy. There’s no other excuse. What I want to listen to is either a) on the radio or b) Devon makes me mixes. We can blame pop music and my enabling best friend for my completely detachedness from music.

I want to reconnect. I want to find more new music that really defines this time period in my life because… seriously… Like I said to my sister tonight, “I feel like my belly might burst open and sunshine beams are going to shine out. I’m like, aggressively happy.”

All the music I have in my Pandora stations reminds me of being depressed and having my heart broken. All the music on the radio is… Well, you’ve heard the radio lately. I’m much too busy/lazy/poor (pick one) to go to concerts. I need suggestions. Help.

Here’s what I feel: happy, warm, loved, special, safe, excited

Here’s where I want to listen to music: in the car with the windows down, on my laptop while I get dressed

Okay? Can you throw me a freakin’ bone music loving nerdy friends of mine… Fill in the blank here so I can have a musical memory to match this beautiful space I’m in… Will ya?

Get Yer Share On, Fool

Other Morsels You May Enjoy:

1. Super Happy Fun Trimwas!