Gently Weeped

Pressure on my chest, like someone was sitting right up on me… I couldn’t make a sound, try as I might. All I could manage was a couple of short, quick, pointless inhales which only worked to further put pressure on my lungs. What now? What now? What now? And then, as if someone had popped me with a pin, all the air rushed out of my chest. It wasn’t so much an exhale as an expulsion of air… And not just air — sound. Right now, the best I could explain it would be a groan… A whimpering groan that built up with the exhale and ended in that throaty, catchy thing that happens at the back of your throat when you’re about to sob uncontrollably. And then the silent shakes — if you didn’t see the previously described expulsion, it would appear I was laughing hysterically. But I was not.

I was freaking the fuck out. (more…)

Insert Home Alone Style Cussing Here

I’ve been something of a gypsy the past few years… I haven’t lived in one place more than a year, some places often, less than a year. I got wise (so I thought) a few years back and started having all of my mail routed to my work address. I didn’t have to worry about filling out the change of address forms at the post office… I didn’t have to worry about mail getting lost in the system or delayed because of mail forwarding. It was nice. I thought I was being smart.

And then… Today, I realized what a colossal doofus move that was.

You see, I went to renew my tag today… (more…)

I Shouldn’t Be Shocked

It happens more often than I’m comfortable with… And I’m not sure if it’s happening more as I get older or if part of the wisdom that I’m earning as I get older is a more sensitive ear to it… But we live in a world that is still so racist.

No, thankfully, we don’t segregate public bathrooms anymore. It’s not as outward as it was sixty years ago… It’s an undercurrent and, same with the ocean, the undercurrent is the one you really have to watch out for. If we’re not careful, the secretly sweeping subtle racism will tangle around our feet and pull us all back down under. (more…)

Shoes. OMG, Shoes.

I hate shopping. I hate schlepping from store to store. I hate carrying big bags. I hate having to repeatedly undress and redress myself, after episodes of wrestling my self loathing fat ass into clothes that don’t fit, aren’t flattering, or are just ugly when they’re actually on you.

So, I shop online which is harder in some very different kind of ways… I mean, you don’t have all of the standard pains of regular human shopping, but you’ve got other obstacles. The biggest one is that in order to make sure you’re going to be successful shopping online, you’ve got to buy two (sometimes THREE) of each size to make sure that you land your winning ass in a pair of winning jeans. Or in a superior dress. Or skirt. Whatever. You know what I’m saying. (more…)

Reason Number 129834932847308734 Why We’re A Good Match

All of our exchanges are not like this… I promise. But mercy, we’re great, big giant NERDS!

Why You Haven’t Heard From Me… A Post With Pictures!

We might be a little crazy...

I know how painful it is for you guys to constantly check in and see no new updates here… I know it’s causing you to wail and gnash your teeth… The physical pain that I’m causing you is making me you know, kind of whatever. Hurt or something. (more…)

Hair

Not much more than fuzz on the top
He keeps it buzzed on the sides and back
Bright and almost translucent then
fading to soft brown
But it’s not the hair on his head that I love.

Around his perfect bow lips
Blonde and red and brown hairs sprout
A surprising cowlick under his chin
with hair curling toward the right
I just want to nuzzle on his beard.

When he hugs me, I get chills
Short, bent hairs grazing my neck.
My arms wrapped tightly around his neck
and his arms locked together around my waist
And in my neck, his chin… His beautiful chin.

I trace my fingers across the tips
explosions of nerve endings in my fingers.
Follow the edge, along his jawline
all the way back to his soft ear lobes.
I could spend days touching his face.

And then I feel him on the inside of my knees,
the tops of my thighs,
Up my arms, pass my elbows…
It’s an impossible feeling to recreate
in those sad spaces when we’re apart.

Ke$ha ruined the phrase, but really
I do love his beard.
It might be one of my most favorite things

Maybe The Most Amazing Video I’ve Ever Seen

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros is one of my favorite bands. I’m sure they stink of Patchouli and have dirt under their fingernails and flakes suspended in the oily roots of their hair…

But I don’t care. This song “Home” is one of my most favorite songs… Will probably always be one of my most favorite songs. It makes my insides feel effervescent. Like, I can barely contain how happy I am on the inside when this song echoes in my ears — it just bubbles up and out of me and I want to put on long flowy skirts and spin in circles and grow my hair out down past my ass.

It’s beautiful.

And then… this? Good god, it’s amazing. This guy Jorge Narvaez is a singer/songwriter and he’s got this amazing little firecracker of a daughter, Alexa. She’s bubbling with personality and her pajamas are also cute.

So, enjoy. I promise I’m going to find my writer’s feet again soon. I’m coming out of the fog of December and ready to stretch my arms and legs a bit. Pinky swear.