Ahhh yes, people. I’m 29 today. I’m not super thrilled about this birthday only because I am actually looking forward to turning 30.
Now, pick up your jaws. I’m serious.
Were you witness to my twenties? No? Let my summarize: [Read more...]
Pardis Publications, Inc.
November 4, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Thanks to my super sleuth skillzzz, I have been able to track down the address of my perpetrator… and my perpetrator, I mean that doucheface reject that came chug-a-chugging through on the hater-train yesterday.
It really wasn’t that hard. A little search through my stats on the website, a couple of clicks through google and I’ve got my finger on her!
Or him… Most likely a him posing as a her because, let’s face it… That’s when men do when they find themselves tied to target of which I am throwing knives toward. [Read more...]
Address the hater-train
November 4, 2010 By 8 Comments
I used to get a lot of hate mail on Date Wrecks… I sort of miss it.
So you’ll understand why I was so giddy to login tonight and see a comment! From a hater! On FREAK BACON!
I tried to address the commenter directly, but the email bounced. So I’m posting it here since, really… the point of being a hater and posting hateful comments on somebody’s blog is to garner attention.
Everybody! Check out “Sarah_C”! [Read more...]
I want to run away to the Candy Slice Comedy studios.
November 3, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Seriously. SERIOUSLY? I am so totally that crazy broad in the front with the teal top on. Haha. I can’t stop laughing at this one.
Obsessive Astrology Checker
November 3, 2010 By 1 Comment
I don’t know too much about my birth chart or where my planets are moving or who or what is retrograding currently. Devon is my go-to astrology person. I’ll call her all panic-riddled, “My laptop is fried, I need a new alternator in the Saab, even my hair-dryer fucking burned up this morning!” And she’ll say, “Pobrecita… Listen, Mercury is in retrograde and blah de blah blah.”
I don’t know how seriously I really take Astrology when it comes to Horoscopes. “Something is going to happen to me having to do with money on the 15th? Thanks, every-horoscope-page-in-every-stupid-magazine!” (Spoiler alert: the 15th is payday.)
I DO, however, hold a lot of stock in my Astrological sign. I’m a Scorpio (surprise) [Read more...]
Hey Y’all
November 3, 2010 By 4 Comments
Just in case you were holding on to some preconceived notions about people from the South, I want to clear some things up:
White dudes can’t dance down here either.
Exhibit A: [Read more...]
Alright, Dick Sharpener, listen up!
November 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Remember when I broadened your palate for the many euphemisms for dicks?
It’s time for the Penis Penitentiary’s turn.
But first, a conversation with my favorite Lady Jane Licker, Anna.
The buzz of the crowd…