Remember last Christmas when I was really sick and there was a vagina in my mouth? It was horrible — the worst case of strep that I’ve ever had in my life and I’m pretty sure the most sick I’ve ever been. [Read more...]
The Queen of Vagina
August 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment
I mean… I like beards, too honey. But this is a little ridiculous.
The Queen of Infatuation
August 18, 2010 By 1 Comment
“I know you,” she said. “You get all excited about a boy and then two weeks later, you’re over it.” And she’s right. Dee-lite and I were talking about my recent infatuation with David and really, all of my infatuations over the last year.
I am nothing if not predictable, right? There’s something positive. [Read more...]
You are not what you write
August 14, 2010 By 1 Comment
A few months ago, I was discouraged by some of the negative feedback I was getting on Date Wrecks. It wasn’t like, “Oh, no you’re wrong.” It was stupid shit like, “You’re a fat cow!” because some dipshit found his own profile on Date Wrecks, or something. I really can’t remember the details.
I know, I know. It’s stupid to let shit like that bother me. [Read more...]
Why I will never break up with the internet
August 14, 2010 By 4 Comments
Some might say I spend too much time online.
Fuck the nay sayers.
Here is my evidence to support my claim that the internet is probably one of the most unusual and interesting tools that man will ever have:
Exhibit A: [Read more...]
The wrong thing to say
August 14, 2010 By 3 Comments
On Fridays on the Date Wrecks fan page on Facebook, we play a little game. For the longest time, the game didn’t have a name other than “the game” or “the word game” — but Johnny remedied that. It’s the Funny Fucker’s Fantastic Friday now and I am quite fond of that name.
Typically, we swap horror stories about shit that has happened in relationships or sexual romps. One that I love the most is the “deal-breakers.”
So I’m left thinking… Okay, REALLY. What are my deal breakers? [Read more...]
Topping From The Bottom
August 12, 2010 By 1 Comment
This is a guest post that I wrote for Met Another Frog.
JFB posed an interesting question to me, both in the comment section of my last post here and in private:
“…I would like to see some specifics as to why this is enjoyable for women… Will this be covered in the next part of the series?”
It took me a couple of days to sort through what direction I wanted to go in with this essay… Do I poll groups of women to find out why they like butt secks? Do I dig out the books and pile this article full of statistics and research? Do I talk about my personal preferences? [Read more...]
Merely Freshman
August 7, 2010 By Leave a Comment
I’m still at the airport in Salt Lake City. I didn’t get on standby at 3:00, so I’m waiting to board a flight at 8pm.
It was torture for the first half hour but, with some coaxing from friends on Facebook, I have lightened my mood slightly.
Also, Regina Spektor and her Pandora-ites are loving on me right now. [Read more...]
Stanky Toilet Toe
August 7, 2010 By Leave a Comment
I’m currently sitting in the airport in Salt Lake City. [Read more...]
The Vanilla Girl’s Guide To Butt Secks
August 2, 2010 By 1 Comment
This was a guest post that I wrote for Met Another Frog. We had to split it into two posts because I just had SO much to say. Heh.
I was super excited when Skye asked me if I’d be interested in guest posting here. Then she said that July was “Fringe Month Two”. Listen, I’m so far away from fringe that I didn’t even know what it was. I’m thinking, “Like saddles and whips fringe? For a whole month? I think you’ll run out of things to talk about.” Then she explained that by fringe she meantkink. And at the sound of the word, my green eyes popped open so wide you could see the white on the top and bottom of my iris. Uhhm… Kinky? I may be foul-mouthed and sex-forward and maybe something of a slut but, me? Kinky? Hardly. [Read more...]
“No One Will Think Less If You Hang Out With Your Breath”
August 1, 2010 By 3 Comments
I realized in recent years that there’s power in being alone. A thought like this never manifests itself during times when you’re locked at the hips and lips with some wonderful man or linked arm-in-arm with a gaggle of your girlfriends.
You are forced into a corner, made just so by circumstance and it’s really only then that you realize that there’s nothing wrong or awkward or strange about being alone. [Read more...]
Worst ass ever
August 1, 2010 By Leave a Comment
So, I was doing window shopping online tonight — don’t ask me why, it’s not like I’ve got any money to buy anything pretty right now. But I’m day dreaming about my vacation next weekend with [Read more...]
The buzz of the crowd…