The last 365 days…

I spent New Years last year with my brother and his wife at this really dumpy dive bar in my hometown. There were girls from high school there waiting tables and guys from high school there drinking and whooping it up. They were showing some kind of motorcycle stunt man on the big screens – he was going to attempt this great big giant leap at midnight. There was a Journey Cover Band there, too… Now if that just doesn’t SCREAM white-kids-in-the-suburbs, I don’t know what does. (more…)

Disappointed

When I was a kid, if we bitched and whined about wanting to do something, like play on a sports team, my parents would sign us up. And if, two practices in, we decided that it was too hot/hard/exhausting/dirty/whatever, my parents would stiffen their backs and give us the you-started-this, now-you’ll-finish-it look. In the end, it was always the right thing to do because with everything, you hit a hump or a wall and you have to go past this spot to get to the fun stuff. It always ended up being fun, it was always fine and my parents were always right.

Growing up like that has had a profound effect on how I view people’s character… I am the kind of woman that finishes what I start… I don’t shirk, I don’t dodge, I don’t avoid. If I had sense enough to start it, then I’ve got to figure out a way to finish it, too. This doesn’t mean I hang out in dead-end situations either… I won’t quit on something just because it isn’t fun anymore, but I will sure as hell quit on something that is failing-failing-failing. (more…)

I say… I say… I say there’s a vagina in my mouth!

I have never understood the appeal of the super zoom in the vajayjay during porn. I mean, sure, vaginas are slightly more interesting to look at than penises, but ultimately, you’re looking at someone’s genitalia. Frankly, if you don’t love the person attached to the cooter or the wang, it’s downright not pretty.

I went to the doctor today and GUESS WHAT? Don’t play stupid. You read the title of this post. There is a vagina in my mouth.

See for yourself (putting this behind the cut… (more…)

I think I might be dying.

That’s hot, right? Check out the mouth-breather. Fucking ew. That was me yesterday morning. I ended up spending most of the day in bed. Bless the boy child’s heart, he was amazing. Fixed himself stuff to eat, kept himself occupied and even found time to come and sit in my bed and read to me while I fell asleep. (more…)

I am the most impatient brat ever.

That’s all. Seriously.

Maybe my New Year’s resolution should be to have more patience.

Neglected

I’m really sorry I haven’t updated. It’s been absolutely nutty at the Biznasty — working ten to twelve hour days, on my feet the whole time, barely breaking for a meal. I am tired. But I think the worst of the rush is behind me now.

Dr. Dude came for his visit and it was really lovely – a bit whirl-windy… (more…)

Dr Dude is going to be in my city today.

Later today… As in Friday. Which is today…

My house is still a wreck… God bless her, I love my roommate. I’m a little pissed at the condition that she left my house though. The bathroom is a wreck — trash can still full of her baby’s diapers. The kitchen — oh fuck me. It’s dishes. Everywhere. She picked out her dishes and washed those before she left and left all of my dishes — that SHE used. Ugh. (more…)

Oh, dummy. Stupid fucking dummy.

So, on the other blog — it’s submission based — and I got a submission from a woman. It turned out to be a really funny blog post. Yadda yadda — this is incidental.

So, I emailed this girl this morning to tell her that her submission is going to run. We exchanged a few “omg, yes, that is so funny!” emails and then she mentioned that we have a mutual friend — Ginger.

Well, I’m just… I mean, maybe I’m a retard. I don’t know. When people ask, “Do you know that guy?” I’m honest to a fault, it seems.

So, I said, “Yea, Ginger. We met earlier this summer were friends for a bit and had a brief fling. I haven’t seen him in months.”

Oh yea. That’s right! Guess who this girl is?

GINGER’S FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. (more…)